Ash Menzies

Red devil

Ash was born and raised in Yorkshire, which makes his decision to support Manchester United all the more disgusting. Worse still, like some kind of football missionary, he insists on trying to convert others to this most controversial of causes by streaming Man U radio to the warehouse PA system. This disgraceful behaviour is fortunately mitigated by some positive traits.

He's a sensitive soul with a contagious laugh (that can be heard for some considerable distance), and he's a very popular member of the team due in part to always making himself able and willing to help. And being a stickler for detail is an extremely useful attribute in a position where accuracy is key.

He's an avid gamer like Janine, but she insists that he will beat her on the day that hell freezes over. That may transpire to be more pertinent to Janine's competitiveness than it is to Ash's character.

He has a profile on Eve's website too, since his time is split between Eve and Rounded Edge. In this profile, in a flurry of what we hope is pure satire, he claims he 'brings class and good looks to the warehouse' and 'I am the find of the decade'. He should be aware that looks fade and decades end. But his booming laugh will always endure. And so, unfortunately, will his love of the Red Devils.