NIHR become one of the first clients to commission an exhibition stand built using our aluminium profile system, so new it doesn’t yet have a name. As it enters full production, we’re buzzing about the possibilities.
Research & development engineer
No, not that Chris Evans
Chris began his career as a hugely unsuccessful swimwear model. We understand that the popularity of very brief Speedos in the early 1980's led to a drought in his already arid photoshoot schedule due to 'a completely incompatible body profile'.
He later starred in an unbroadcastable documentary film, directed by someone we haven't heard of either. In it, he plays the character of an extremely talented graphic designer, forced by circumstance and dreadful timing to lurch his career sideways into a more practical R&D situation with a local exhibition company, in which joinery, material and cabinet design become the bread and butter of his everyday life.
It's a desperate tale of unfulfilled potential. Arty camera angles, absurd lighting and brooding monochrome reveal Chris lying on his workshop's concrete floor in the foetal position, rocking gently, a cascade of tears leaving small dark patches in the sawdust below his head, all the time surrounded by menacing circular saws, lathes and very strong glue. His monstrous boss locks him in the workshop and strongly implies he can't retire until he's 80.
Yet it turns out to be a love story, and the documentary focusses in the final couple of hours on the way Chris emerges mostly unscathed from all this horror through a disgusting but ultimately liberating relationship with chocolate biscuits. Seven people, all now mysteriously missing or dead, were apparently invited to the film's pre-screening, and one of them is quoted as saying:
Who was that bloke with the beard? I'm sure he was in a swimwear advert when I was a kid. I think he did some incredible graphic design work for me too in the days just before everything was computerised.
The above may or may not have a significant overlap with reality, but since this is what Chris told us to write, we felt obliged to include it despite the lack of evidence.
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